Gazing Godward

No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, just off the face of internet publishing. Not that anyone will have noticed or certainly had their life impacted negatively by my absence. And yet I still feel the need to apologize if only to myself. God doesn't want my apology, only my repentance so I will offer that as well.

Since I last posted:

• South Africa hosted a successful World Cup - congrats to Spain but I was pulling for the Dutch - (commiserations Alfon's and Marco
  
• The 4th of July was rained out in Seattle


• Summer came to Seattle on July 5th and still hasn't left - "yeah!" (see picture below of Robin and Debbie on the ferry from Seattle)


• Two new members joined the Two Tunics board - welcome Debbie Tucker and Doug Hufton, our St Louis connections


• My daughter turned 28 (don't tell her I told you)


• We started attending Mars Hill Church at the Bellevue campus


• My wife Robin and I have enjoyed 4 more blessed months with our grandson Mikah (see picture below gathering eggs in Vicki's henhouse)


• The work of Two Tunics in South Africa goes forward thanks to Onnie, Debbie and our 9 amazing community project partners as well as all our faithful supporters
  
  

All the stuff above was good stuff. Well most of it - we'll forget about the 4th of July in Seattle. But somehow through it all I didn't feel like I had anything to share here. It wasn't like God wasn't using this time and teaching me. We have loved the teaching at Mars Hill. And God has used The Pursuit of God by Tozer in some deep places in my life. But day to day I think I have struggled with the separation from the work I still feel called to in South Africa, even knowing without a doubt that this (Seattle) is where God wants us to be for a time.

Now as I resume this blog I think back to why it started - sharing a faith journey. The title of this blog comes from a description by Spurgeon of faith as "slender wires". That description still rings true in my life and I think always will. Now another description of faith has come to me as well by Tozer. Faith is the "gaze of the soul upon a saving God". As Tozer says "looking and believing are really the same thing". We direct our attention where we look. And faith is not a looking once, but a continuous gazing, a "habit of inwardly gazing Godward".

I think maybe during this time I have been looking in the wrong direction. Not all bad places - in the Bible and in good books, but not continuously at Him. And too much at myself. The eye never sees itself, and so faith is occupied only with the Object upon which it rests. I need to continuously practice looking away.

Getting back to the final bullet point above. In 2 days Robin and I will leave for another 3 week visit to South Africa. We have much to accomplish there both personally and for Two Tunics. It will be good to be back but I'm sure hard as well. My prayer is that as we go we will be gazing on Him.

Thread-like Faith

This week I was struck by the analogy of our faith being like "slender wires" used by Charles Spurgeon in his book All of Grace. It is easy for us sometimes to fall into the error of making our faith an idol. The power is not in the faith but in the God upon whom our faith relies. We are saved not by faith but by God's Grace (Eph 2:8). Grace is the fountain and faith is the conduit through which the fountain's living water comes to us. "Great messages can be sent through slender wires, and the peace-giving witness of the Holy Spirit can reach our hearts through thread-like faith." So often my faith seems thread-like. Praise God that "even though a hand may be trembling, it can still receive the golden gift".

These last 3 years in South Africa with Two Tunics have been an incredible faith journey (as well as the nearly 2 years leading up to are being here). At times it felt like I've was drinking from a large pipe as God overwhelmed with his clear and active provision. At other times it has felt like I've been holding on to a slender wire listening for and not hearing that "still small voice". Those were feelings of mine that changed. God, his plan and his faithfulness didn't change. My faith was ever thread-like and yet that was enough for God to pour out his grace.

I wish I had been more faithful over the years in journaling the stories of this faith journey. I am starting this blog as a means of recording my experiences living on a "slender wire" of faith. I hope it will also be a way to keep friends, family and supporters updated on progress and challenges of the work of Two Tunics in South Africa. I hope you will check back from time to time and be blessed as you do.