Listening Back, Together

As most of you know, for the last 4+ months I have been serving as the General Manager of Genesis on an interim basis. As I've shared previously during this time I have struggled to contribute regularly to this blog. Why do we struggle so with things we are committed to? Maybe its because we are not as committed as we say we are. Or maybe something or someone else distracts us from our commitments (tries to change our priorities). That something could be something good (like serving others for me) or something not so good (like laziness and selfishness for me). That someone could be a friend, an acquaintance, or a foe (even The enemy).

I think it is a combination of all those things/people that has contributed to my struggle with the commitment I have to communicating through this blog. But I think there may be another even more important reason why I've struggled and why we often struggle with things we are committed to. And that is wrong thinking about the thing we are committed to. Sometimes we blame other things, especially busyness when the real problem is not thinking right about what we've committed to. In the case of sharing my faith walk with others through Slender Wires I've realized that I've been thinking wrong about what I should be writing in these posts.

Over the last months as I've been working at Genesis I've been surprised how much of my time is doing paperwork, sitting in front of the computer, dealing with emails, writing policies, responding to audits, developing budgets and fundraising strategies. All that stuff, so I thought makes for pretty boring reading. I said I wasn't blogging because I was too busy but really I wasn't blogging becuase I felt what I was doing and living day to day would bore people and not inspire or encourage them. I felt like I had to have an emotional story or something clever or profound to share in my posts. I did manage one what I thought was a pretty clever post related to something as boring as audits and doing accounts "I reckon" :).

Then this week I started reading Walking with God by John Eldredge. In it he says he's going to share of series of stories of what it looks like to walk with God over the course of a year. It's a goal that is similar to what I want to do with Slender Wires. And as he says, "How much more valuable might this be if we could share with one another the stories of our true encounters with God - not the mountain top ones, but the everyday encounters...". He also quotes Frederick Beuchner about writing an autobiography. Buechner says "... it seems to me that no matter who you are, and no matter how eloquent or otherwise, if you tell your own story with sufficient candor and concreteness, it will be an interesting story and in some sense a universal story..." . The mundane not the mountaintop is valuable when shared. My excuse of not having anything interesting to share was just that, an excuse and based on wrong thinking.

But why is it that the mundane is important to share. How does my telling the mundane everyday happenings of my life contribute to anyone else's faith journey. I think Buechner anwers that as well. "If God speaks to us at all other than through ... the Bible and the church, then I think he speaks to us largely through what happens to us... " . And if I am going to hear God speaking to me in this way I have to "listen back over what has happened to me" in the mundane times as well as the exciting times (partly because there are a lot more of them). And as I listen back to hear God in the everyday events of my life, you have the opportunity to listen back over what has happened to you. We find Buechner is right, our stories are universal. And maybe you and I will hear God together. Cool! Let's stay commited to sharing our stories.

I Reckon So

In my current role as Genesis GM a lot of my time is being spent dealing with the US government PEPFAR grant that has been providing so much funding to both Genesis and Project Positive Ray over the last 3 years. Last month I had to submit to USAID a large document in response to the audit of the program for 2007. In it we tried to justify why we should not have to pay back several thousand dollars in questioned costs. This entire past week we have had auditors here doing the same type of audit for 2008. Now we have another long list of issues to address for the auditors before they submit their report to USAID. Not a lot of fun and not what I think Paul had in mind when he said God "gave us this ministry of reconciliation" (2 Corinth 5:18).

But all this financial stuff I've been dealing with did make something I read recently more real to me. I've been reading (and re-reading) "The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee. This is another author of whom I say read everything of his you can get your hands on. I'll say more about what God has taught me through this book soon but today I just want to focus on what Nee says about "reckoning". He is commenting on Romans 6:11 where Paul says "In the same way count ("reckon" in KJV) yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus."

Earlier in Romans 6:6 Paul had said "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with". But as Nee explains it is not enough to know something is fact we have to also reckon it so. The Greek word translated "reckon" or "count" means "doing the accounts". Then Nee makes the statement that I find so interesting. He says, "Accounting is the only thing in the world that we human beings can do correctly". (And I hope we did it correctly regarding the USAID funding)

To paraphrase Nee, can an artist paint a landscape with perfect accuracy? (It wouldn't be art if he did) Can history be told with absolute accuracy? Can a map be made perfectly correct? As I relate to you the story of my journey here in South Africa can I do it without exaggeration or understatement? I might be able to spell words correctly (thanks to spell-check) but do I have any chance of using them correctly? The only thing I have a chance to do with perfect accuracy is arithmetic. That's probably why I like working with numbers. Things are either right or wrong. My accounts either balance or they don't. If I spend 20 Rand ($2.58 today) but record only 10 Rand in the ledger, I haven't reckoned properly.

So what about my real experience in life. Has the body of sin been done away with in my experience of life. If not it is because I have not done the accounts properly. I have not reckoned correctly. Something in the ledger of my life does not match the real facts. My old self was crucified with Him. God placed me in Christ on the cross, not just for forgiveness but for death. I have been baptised into His death. I know it is so, but I don't reckon it so.

When the auditors did their work this week they found some errors. We will need to pay some funds back to USAID, although hopefully not too much. When God audits the account of my life He will find many errors. I didn't reckon properly. I placed sin in the ledger when it wasn't entitled to be there. Thankfully, whatever the balance owed its been paid in full. Today I start again with an account that is fully reconciled. I know I died with Christ. Sin will not find a place in my account today. I am dead to sin. I just need to reckon so.

Jacob's Well

It's been too long since I shared with y'all. (I've been around a lot of Texans lately). Since I stepped into the GM position at Genesis, most days have been long and hectic. Lots of good stuff going on but lots of hard stuff as well. I find that by the end of the day or the weekend there is not physical or emotional energy to sit down and record my thoughts and experiences. Then yesterday I got an email from Missy. She had had a rough day at work and had come to Slender Wires hoping there might be a word of encouragement or wisdom. She was disappointed because it had been over a month since I had posted. She emailed me saying she understood the reason and knew I was struggling to find the time. She just wanted me to know that she noticed.

Missy's email was such an encouragement to me. Someone noticed and more amazingly missed hearing about my faith journey. I realized anew that God wants us to share our journeys with each other. In fact an important part of our journey is sharing it with others. I've recommitted to be faithful in this. Thanks Missy.

Anyway, part of what I have been busy with has been with mission teams visiting Genesis. The Texans I mentioned are from Lake Pointe Church in Dallas Texas. Recently 2 teams from Lake Pointe, an adult and a youth team totaling about 35 people each spent about 10 days here. They had a great ministry working in several of Genesis' programs. One member of Lake Pointe Church who came on previous mission teams the last 2 years is Ami Cheek. As a result of those visits Ami decided to commit a year of her life to come and work full time with Genesis. Ami arrived in April and was excited to have the Lake Pointe teams arrive this year, not least because her sister was a member of the team.


One of the exciting things that happened during the Lake Pointe visit was the drilling of a bore hole well at Genesis' Khula project in a poor rural community. Please go to Ami's blog "Faith Into Action" http://faithintoaction.blogspot.com/ to read the story of Jacob's Well. I think it will encourage you as it has us. God is good!

Jacob at God's Well

Also, don't miss watching this video.