I Reckon So

In my current role as Genesis GM a lot of my time is being spent dealing with the US government PEPFAR grant that has been providing so much funding to both Genesis and Project Positive Ray over the last 3 years. Last month I had to submit to USAID a large document in response to the audit of the program for 2007. In it we tried to justify why we should not have to pay back several thousand dollars in questioned costs. This entire past week we have had auditors here doing the same type of audit for 2008. Now we have another long list of issues to address for the auditors before they submit their report to USAID. Not a lot of fun and not what I think Paul had in mind when he said God "gave us this ministry of reconciliation" (2 Corinth 5:18).

But all this financial stuff I've been dealing with did make something I read recently more real to me. I've been reading (and re-reading) "The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee. This is another author of whom I say read everything of his you can get your hands on. I'll say more about what God has taught me through this book soon but today I just want to focus on what Nee says about "reckoning". He is commenting on Romans 6:11 where Paul says "In the same way count ("reckon" in KJV) yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus."

Earlier in Romans 6:6 Paul had said "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with". But as Nee explains it is not enough to know something is fact we have to also reckon it so. The Greek word translated "reckon" or "count" means "doing the accounts". Then Nee makes the statement that I find so interesting. He says, "Accounting is the only thing in the world that we human beings can do correctly". (And I hope we did it correctly regarding the USAID funding)

To paraphrase Nee, can an artist paint a landscape with perfect accuracy? (It wouldn't be art if he did) Can history be told with absolute accuracy? Can a map be made perfectly correct? As I relate to you the story of my journey here in South Africa can I do it without exaggeration or understatement? I might be able to spell words correctly (thanks to spell-check) but do I have any chance of using them correctly? The only thing I have a chance to do with perfect accuracy is arithmetic. That's probably why I like working with numbers. Things are either right or wrong. My accounts either balance or they don't. If I spend 20 Rand ($2.58 today) but record only 10 Rand in the ledger, I haven't reckoned properly.

So what about my real experience in life. Has the body of sin been done away with in my experience of life. If not it is because I have not done the accounts properly. I have not reckoned correctly. Something in the ledger of my life does not match the real facts. My old self was crucified with Him. God placed me in Christ on the cross, not just for forgiveness but for death. I have been baptised into His death. I know it is so, but I don't reckon it so.

When the auditors did their work this week they found some errors. We will need to pay some funds back to USAID, although hopefully not too much. When God audits the account of my life He will find many errors. I didn't reckon properly. I placed sin in the ledger when it wasn't entitled to be there. Thankfully, whatever the balance owed its been paid in full. Today I start again with an account that is fully reconciled. I know I died with Christ. Sin will not find a place in my account today. I am dead to sin. I just need to reckon so.