A Needed Furlough

Robin and I are preparing to return to the US in November for a furlough of at least several months. September was the four year anniversary of our move here to South Africa and together with our board of directors we have decided that now is the time for us to return to US for at least a time. As an organization Two Tunics needs to evaluate its work since it was conceived in 2004. We need to seek God for his plan for both the future of the organization and role of Mike and Robin in the ministry.

As we are preparing to talk with our board, churches and other supporters about the work of the last four years we have been thinking about how to measure and report what has been accomplished. What is success and where have we seen it? What is failure and what have we hopefully learned from it? What lasting impacts have been made in the lives of people? How has God been glorified?

The temptation is to measure success and results as the world does, with numbers. How many AIDS patients accessed ARV treatment? How many children were fed? How many teachers were trained and creches (preschools) built? How many people came to know Jesus as their Lord and savior? How can we effectively communicate to our supporters the value of the investment they have made in the work of Two Tunics these last four years? What was the return on their dollar? How do we justify that all our time and activity and separation from family has been worth it?

Then thankfully, this morning God gave me a fresh perspective on our upcoming furlough. I was re-reading the final chapter called The Goal of the Gospel in Watchman Nee's book "The Normal Christian Life". In it Nee is commenting on the story in Mark 14 of the woman who anointed Jesus with expensive perfume. Nee wrote these words.

"We could labor and be used to the full: but the Lord is not so concerned about our ceaseless occupation in work for him. That is not his first object. The service of the Lord is not measured by tangible results. No, my friends, the Lord's first concern is with our position at his feet and our anointing of his head. ... Often enough the giving to him will be in tireless service, but he reserves to himself the right to suspend service for a time, in order to discover to us whether it is that or himself, that holds us. "

I pray that God will use the time of our furlough to discover to me what it is that holds me. Is it my service for Him or the Lord Himself?

I Reckon So

In my current role as Genesis GM a lot of my time is being spent dealing with the US government PEPFAR grant that has been providing so much funding to both Genesis and Project Positive Ray over the last 3 years. Last month I had to submit to USAID a large document in response to the audit of the program for 2007. In it we tried to justify why we should not have to pay back several thousand dollars in questioned costs. This entire past week we have had auditors here doing the same type of audit for 2008. Now we have another long list of issues to address for the auditors before they submit their report to USAID. Not a lot of fun and not what I think Paul had in mind when he said God "gave us this ministry of reconciliation" (2 Corinth 5:18).

But all this financial stuff I've been dealing with did make something I read recently more real to me. I've been reading (and re-reading) "The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee. This is another author of whom I say read everything of his you can get your hands on. I'll say more about what God has taught me through this book soon but today I just want to focus on what Nee says about "reckoning". He is commenting on Romans 6:11 where Paul says "In the same way count ("reckon" in KJV) yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus."

Earlier in Romans 6:6 Paul had said "For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with". But as Nee explains it is not enough to know something is fact we have to also reckon it so. The Greek word translated "reckon" or "count" means "doing the accounts". Then Nee makes the statement that I find so interesting. He says, "Accounting is the only thing in the world that we human beings can do correctly". (And I hope we did it correctly regarding the USAID funding)

To paraphrase Nee, can an artist paint a landscape with perfect accuracy? (It wouldn't be art if he did) Can history be told with absolute accuracy? Can a map be made perfectly correct? As I relate to you the story of my journey here in South Africa can I do it without exaggeration or understatement? I might be able to spell words correctly (thanks to spell-check) but do I have any chance of using them correctly? The only thing I have a chance to do with perfect accuracy is arithmetic. That's probably why I like working with numbers. Things are either right or wrong. My accounts either balance or they don't. If I spend 20 Rand ($2.58 today) but record only 10 Rand in the ledger, I haven't reckoned properly.

So what about my real experience in life. Has the body of sin been done away with in my experience of life. If not it is because I have not done the accounts properly. I have not reckoned correctly. Something in the ledger of my life does not match the real facts. My old self was crucified with Him. God placed me in Christ on the cross, not just for forgiveness but for death. I have been baptised into His death. I know it is so, but I don't reckon it so.

When the auditors did their work this week they found some errors. We will need to pay some funds back to USAID, although hopefully not too much. When God audits the account of my life He will find many errors. I didn't reckon properly. I placed sin in the ledger when it wasn't entitled to be there. Thankfully, whatever the balance owed its been paid in full. Today I start again with an account that is fully reconciled. I know I died with Christ. Sin will not find a place in my account today. I am dead to sin. I just need to reckon so.