Gazing Godward

No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, just off the face of internet publishing. Not that anyone will have noticed or certainly had their life impacted negatively by my absence. And yet I still feel the need to apologize if only to myself. God doesn't want my apology, only my repentance so I will offer that as well.

Since I last posted:

• South Africa hosted a successful World Cup - congrats to Spain but I was pulling for the Dutch - (commiserations Alfon's and Marco
  
• The 4th of July was rained out in Seattle


• Summer came to Seattle on July 5th and still hasn't left - "yeah!" (see picture below of Robin and Debbie on the ferry from Seattle)


• Two new members joined the Two Tunics board - welcome Debbie Tucker and Doug Hufton, our St Louis connections


• My daughter turned 28 (don't tell her I told you)


• We started attending Mars Hill Church at the Bellevue campus


• My wife Robin and I have enjoyed 4 more blessed months with our grandson Mikah (see picture below gathering eggs in Vicki's henhouse)


• The work of Two Tunics in South Africa goes forward thanks to Onnie, Debbie and our 9 amazing community project partners as well as all our faithful supporters
  
  

All the stuff above was good stuff. Well most of it - we'll forget about the 4th of July in Seattle. But somehow through it all I didn't feel like I had anything to share here. It wasn't like God wasn't using this time and teaching me. We have loved the teaching at Mars Hill. And God has used The Pursuit of God by Tozer in some deep places in my life. But day to day I think I have struggled with the separation from the work I still feel called to in South Africa, even knowing without a doubt that this (Seattle) is where God wants us to be for a time.

Now as I resume this blog I think back to why it started - sharing a faith journey. The title of this blog comes from a description by Spurgeon of faith as "slender wires". That description still rings true in my life and I think always will. Now another description of faith has come to me as well by Tozer. Faith is the "gaze of the soul upon a saving God". As Tozer says "looking and believing are really the same thing". We direct our attention where we look. And faith is not a looking once, but a continuous gazing, a "habit of inwardly gazing Godward".

I think maybe during this time I have been looking in the wrong direction. Not all bad places - in the Bible and in good books, but not continuously at Him. And too much at myself. The eye never sees itself, and so faith is occupied only with the Object upon which it rests. I need to continuously practice looking away.

Getting back to the final bullet point above. In 2 days Robin and I will leave for another 3 week visit to South Africa. We have much to accomplish there both personally and for Two Tunics. It will be good to be back but I'm sure hard as well. My prayer is that as we go we will be gazing on Him.